Settled.

Settled. That’s how I feel right now. Life the past few months has been chaotic but harmonized, difficult but manageable, tiring but exciting. Since July of this year I have travelled 14,000+ miles, with a mix of flying and driving (probably half and half!). I was feeling unsettled. As though I didn’t have a home...but I do have a home. The meaning of home to me is now not a place but a people. Home is my family. Not a state. Home is my friends. Not a city. Home is much more than this life has to offer. It is a glimpse of where my true home is. Not of this earth. But for now, home is a people. People I love. People who love me. 

I love the northwest. I love the outdoors. I love nature. There is something spiritual, healing, majestic and peaceful about being surrounded by trees, mountains, quietness, away from the hustle and bustle of city life (which I love city life, too! it’s nice to have both not too far from each other). I thought maybe this would be my new home but the last few months I have learned about the definition of what home truly means. I am sitting in my new apartment, feeling settled. I have experienced love, stress, frustration, new friendships, contentment, death. I have felt hurt through what my best friend has gone through. I have been stretched beyond my comfort zone. I have been stretched and tested in my faith. I am learning to love someone, what it means to love and be loved. Allowing myself to be completely vulnerable. I am in a season of life where I know who I am and am continually growing (Do we ever get to a point where we know who we are completely? Life changes, is dynamic, therefore I change.), what I would like out of life, what/who is/are the most important in MY life and in life in general. 

It’s been non-stop. But I would not change the last few months for anything. It has been the most fun, challenging, physically exhausting, emotionally tiring time I have been through but the memories made, the laughter shared, the love expressed, felt and known…no, I don’t want to change anything. At all.

I feel settled. Not because of the physical place I am in but how I feel about where I am in life. How the circumstances and journey of life has changed, stretched, challenged and molded me (and continues to do so). I am curious where God will take me in this fleeting thing called life but for now I hope to live for today because who knows if I will see tomorrow.