A letter to my husband who celebrates one year of being cancer free.
One year.
One year,
Of you being cancer free.
Of recovery. Because cancer leaves a trace. Its effects not letting us forget what happened.
Of breathing room.
Of other kinds of difficulties. Because life isn't perfect.
Of normalcy. Whatever that may be to us.
Of loving each other in a new light.
Of enjoying each other.
Of sometimes forgetting what happened because everything happened so quickly.
Of laughter.
Of growth. The kind of growth that is together, causing [our] souls to intertwine even more intimately than before.
Of another year.
And I pray:
Of another. And another. And another...
Happy one year anniversary of being cancer-free, babe. I love you.
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Happy "Gotcha Day," B!
B, 2 years ago today something INCREDIBLY AWESOMELY awesome happened to our family.
You became ours :)
I've been thinking about you all weekend and how you have impacted this little world of ours.
It began with your biological mother being brave, courageous and deciding to not only have you come into this world but also eventually giving you to a family that has ended up loving you unconditionally.
More like, OBSESSIVELY.
I think about her decision and the impact it has had on the people who surround you today.
I think about God and how He knew the longing of the hearts of those that surround you.
Let's start with Mom and Dad. Aka the ones who work hard - also play hard - at raising you.
You were what they were waiting for, for a looooooooong time. Mom tells me all the time how much she adores you and has a longing that has been fulfilled by having you in her life. Dad is a quiet person but it is known the great love he has for his B just by watching the two of you together. He would give you the moon if you asked for it...and if it was physically possible...
I see so much of your caring, sweet side that comes from Mom. I see so much of your creative, silly - crazy silly, because mom is silly but Dad is craaaaaaazy silly - side that comes from Dad. I can only imagine how they both love that they can see themselves in you. And be slightly terrified. Hehehehe.
Gima.
Girl. You.have.got.Gi.ma.wrapped.around.yo.finga.
And you know it.
She's like the typical grandparent. Gives you everything you want. Does nothing but fun stuff with you. Loves her grandchild more than her own children. She won't even come see Uncle Tim and I in Wisconsin because she can't bare to be away from you for too long. But I don't blame you because you're so freakin cute, smart and surprising, doing or saying something new every day. Gima's life was changed when you became ours. You see, Gima was sad and felt like she didn't have purpose in life because her daughters were grown up and married and didn't live nearby. The wonderful thing is God knows us. He knew Gima needed to feel purpose in life. When you grow up, I know one day Gima will tell you with tears that YOU gave her purpose because she has told your Mom and I that many times.
Moe.
Poor Moe. He was the golden child but you have for sure replaced him. His life has most likely been changed for the worst with one exception: food. He's very thankful for all of the food you drop and sneak to him but I'm pretty sure that's it. I think that will change when you grow a little older and stop torturing him with your dress up and crazy tight squeezes and squealing and taunting.
And then there's me.
Your favorite of them all. Not really. I know your loyalties lie with Gima, Nana and Papa.
For now...
My heart was so full the day we were all sitting in the courtroom waiting for you to officially be got by us. Your B Masi absolutely adores you. My chest swells when we see each other and when I think of you. I have many plans for us. Really just plans for making sure you turn out to be just like me. I think God knew that Mom and Dad needed a mini Bela in their lives ;) I'm just kidding. I obviously want you to become your very own, YOU.
You have given me a happiness I never knew existed and have made me feel a type of love I've never experienced.
Happy Gotcha Day, B. I love you,
xoxo
B Masi
You became ours :)
I've been thinking about you all weekend and how you have impacted this little world of ours.
It began with your biological mother being brave, courageous and deciding to not only have you come into this world but also eventually giving you to a family that has ended up loving you unconditionally.
More like, OBSESSIVELY.
I think about her decision and the impact it has had on the people who surround you today.
I think about God and how He knew the longing of the hearts of those that surround you.
Let's start with Mom and Dad. Aka the ones who work hard - also play hard - at raising you.
You were what they were waiting for, for a looooooooong time. Mom tells me all the time how much she adores you and has a longing that has been fulfilled by having you in her life. Dad is a quiet person but it is known the great love he has for his B just by watching the two of you together. He would give you the moon if you asked for it...and if it was physically possible...
I see so much of your caring, sweet side that comes from Mom. I see so much of your creative, silly - crazy silly, because mom is silly but Dad is craaaaaaazy silly - side that comes from Dad. I can only imagine how they both love that they can see themselves in you. And be slightly terrified. Hehehehe.
Gima.
Girl. You.have.got.Gi.ma.wrapped.around.yo.finga.
And you know it.
She's like the typical grandparent. Gives you everything you want. Does nothing but fun stuff with you. Loves her grandchild more than her own children. She won't even come see Uncle Tim and I in Wisconsin because she can't bare to be away from you for too long. But I don't blame you because you're so freakin cute, smart and surprising, doing or saying something new every day. Gima's life was changed when you became ours. You see, Gima was sad and felt like she didn't have purpose in life because her daughters were grown up and married and didn't live nearby. The wonderful thing is God knows us. He knew Gima needed to feel purpose in life. When you grow up, I know one day Gima will tell you with tears that YOU gave her purpose because she has told your Mom and I that many times.
Moe.
Poor Moe. He was the golden child but you have for sure replaced him. His life has most likely been changed for the worst with one exception: food. He's very thankful for all of the food you drop and sneak to him but I'm pretty sure that's it. I think that will change when you grow a little older and stop torturing him with your dress up and crazy tight squeezes and squealing and taunting.
And then there's me.
Your favorite of them all. Not really. I know your loyalties lie with Gima, Nana and Papa.
For now...
My heart was so full the day we were all sitting in the courtroom waiting for you to officially be got by us. Your B Masi absolutely adores you. My chest swells when we see each other and when I think of you. I have many plans for us. Really just plans for making sure you turn out to be just like me. I think God knew that Mom and Dad needed a mini Bela in their lives ;) I'm just kidding. I obviously want you to become your very own, YOU.
You have given me a happiness I never knew existed and have made me feel a type of love I've never experienced.
Happy Gotcha Day, B. I love you,
xoxo
B Masi
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