There has been so much that has changed in the last few months. Moving away from home was one of the most difficult and easiest decisions I have ever made. Make sense? :) Moved away from family (difficult). I wanted to travel and experience different parts of the US (easy). I never realized how this experience would have changed me, shaped the person I am today, strengthen me emotionally, spiritually and mentally, challenge me in my work and health. Make me re-evaluate my life and beliefs. Asking myself, "What in my life is suppressing my desire to want to live life to the fullest? (That's an easy answer, fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others may think. Fear of the unknown. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear, why you gotta be creepin? It can be a hard emotion to overcome but this journey has made me braver. Braver than what I was before. Actually, as I have aged I have overcome different aspects of fear.) How does my life look as a single Christian woman? How am I loving my family? Friends? Others? What am I doing to make the world a better place? Am I giving of my time, talents (not that I have many!) and/or finances to others in need?" And much more in depth questions and thoughts discussed with my roommate, Natalie :)
This is such a different season of my life that I have thoroughly enjoyed. I know this may sound sad but I have never ENJOYED a season in my life. I have GROWN from many different seasons but never enjoyed AND grown. Childhood, young adulthood, beginning of adulthood, all was HARD. I suppressed much of my feelings about how my life was as a child/teenager, not wanting anyone to know how much hurt, anger and bitterness I was actually feeling (only my sister knew). Oh but if that Bela didn't go through what she did, this Bela wouldn't be who she is today.
I am trying to love each day that God has given me. After all, I don't know when my time will come. When my health may fail me. (As a nurse, I come across young adults younger than me or around my age affected by some kind of devastating accident, illness or cancer and realize the same could happen to me). I find myself meditating on the words William Borden wrote at different times in his bible, "No reserve. No retreat. No regrets." May I have the same mindset as I go through this thing called life!
Enjoyed this hike along Lake Coeur d'Alene, ID
