B, 2 years ago today something INCREDIBLY AWESOMELY awesome happened to our family.
You became ours :)
I've been thinking about you all weekend and how you have impacted this little world of ours.
It began with your biological mother being brave, courageous and deciding to not only have you come into this world but also eventually giving you to a family that has ended up loving you unconditionally.
More like, OBSESSIVELY.
I think about her decision and the impact it has had on the people who surround you today.
I think about God and how He knew the longing of the hearts of those that surround you.
Let's start with Mom and Dad. Aka the ones who work hard - also play hard - at raising you.
You were what they were waiting for, for a looooooooong time. Mom tells me all the time how much she adores you and has a longing that has been fulfilled by having you in her life. Dad is a quiet person but it is known the great love he has for his B just by watching the two of you together. He would give you the moon if you asked for it...and if it was physically possible...
I see so much of your caring, sweet side that comes from Mom. I see so much of your creative, silly - crazy silly, because mom is silly but Dad is craaaaaaazy silly - side that comes from Dad. I can only imagine how they both love that they can see themselves in you. And be slightly terrified. Hehehehe.
Gima.
Girl. You.have.got.Gi.ma.wrapped.around.yo.finga.
And you know it.
She's like the typical grandparent. Gives you everything you want. Does nothing but fun stuff with you. Loves her grandchild more than her own children. She won't even come see Uncle Tim and I in Wisconsin because she can't bare to be away from you for too long. But I don't blame you because you're so freakin cute, smart and surprising, doing or saying something new every day. Gima's life was changed when you became ours. You see, Gima was sad and felt like she didn't have purpose in life because her daughters were grown up and married and didn't live nearby. The wonderful thing is God knows us. He knew Gima needed to feel purpose in life. When you grow up, I know one day Gima will tell you with tears that YOU gave her purpose because she has told your Mom and I that many times.
Moe.
Poor Moe. He was the golden child but you have for sure replaced him. His life has most likely been changed for the worst with one exception: food. He's very thankful for all of the food you drop and sneak to him but I'm pretty sure that's it. I think that will change when you grow a little older and stop torturing him with your dress up and crazy tight squeezes and squealing and taunting.
And then there's me.
Your favorite of them all. Not really. I know your loyalties lie with Gima, Nana and Papa.
For now...
My heart was so full the day we were all sitting in the courtroom waiting for you to officially be got by us. Your B Masi absolutely adores you. My chest swells when we see each other and when I think of you. I have many plans for us. Really just plans for making sure you turn out to be just like me. I think God knew that Mom and Dad needed a mini Bela in their lives ;) I'm just kidding. I obviously want you to become your very own, YOU.
You have given me a happiness I never knew existed and have made me feel a type of love I've never experienced.
Happy Gotcha Day, B. I love you,
xoxo
B Masi
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
2016: The Year of Firsts
Oh, 2016.
I dub thee the year of firsts.
In order-ish:
First year of marriage.
First year of working with retired nuns - I needed a break from the hospital life and boy did I get one!
First year of husband getting diagnosed with cancer.
First year of a lot of tears.
First year of radiation everyday for 5 weeks.
First year of being told we won't be able to have our own kids.
First year of surgery and hospital stay.
First year of getting a cancer-cat (a cat you get when you have cancer).
First year of truly experiencing what community means within the church - finding friends outside of the church that are part of THE church.
First year of having in-laws live with us for a month and half and LOVING EVERY BIT OF IT EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I LOVE IT, smh.
First year of $300,000 in medical expenses. Yes, that's why health insurance is so important AND there are people who cannot afford it. And yes, inserting a #healthcareissue here.
First year of husband becoming a sarcoma-cancer survivor, yay! - way to beat cancer's ass, babe!
First year of a Trump-ed presidency (don't be surprised, you know you saw that coming).
First year of officially turning old - 30 - and experiencing the "that didn't hurt before."
Oh, 2016. You were a roller coaster of emotions.
We walked into it looking forward to celebrating our first year of marriage and thinking about changing jobs and moving.
Instead a few months later we found ourselves putting life on hold.
Feeling unstable. uncertain.
Exhausted. emotionally drained.
When we look back on the past year there are couple of things we both are blown away by:
1. The hub's workplace was INCREDIBLY supportive of him. I
didn't realize this but it is hugely helpful and makes life A LOT
less stressful when your work supports you and helps you in
anyway they can. My workplace was also very supportive. Within
a few weeks of being hired I told them the news and the answer I
got was, "just let us know when you want to come back." I mean,
seriously. That's a big deal.
2. After his diagnosis in April '16, we felt very alone though we
talked/skyped/face-timed with family and friends. Every
month after his diagnosis and sometimes multiple times per
month we had our people stay with us. We didn't know it at the
time but it meant the world to both of us. We know these folks
could have done something else with their time and expenses but
they decided to travel and be with us knowing we wouldn't be
doing much.
We seemed to handle the year of firsts with calmness.
And we know that that calmness comes from our faith.
We both have a heavy past and have experienced the love, faithfulness and provision of our God.
So regardless of what life may bring us we know God is with us. Always walking beside us,
In our lowest.
In our highest.
In our doubting.
And in our certainty.
P.S. I just realized after posting this that what happened to us in 2016 deserves to be in 2016, #twasashittyyear
I dub thee the year of firsts.
In order-ish:
First year of marriage.
First year of working with retired nuns - I needed a break from the hospital life and boy did I get one!
First year of husband getting diagnosed with cancer.
First year of a lot of tears.
First year of radiation everyday for 5 weeks.
First year of being told we won't be able to have our own kids.
First year of surgery and hospital stay.
First year of getting a cancer-cat (a cat you get when you have cancer).
First year of truly experiencing what community means within the church - finding friends outside of the church that are part of THE church.
First year of having in-laws live with us for a month and half and LOVING EVERY BIT OF IT EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I LOVE IT, smh.
First year of $300,000 in medical expenses. Yes, that's why health insurance is so important AND there are people who cannot afford it. And yes, inserting a #healthcareissue here.
First year of husband becoming a sarcoma-cancer survivor, yay! - way to beat cancer's ass, babe!
First year of a Trump-ed presidency (don't be surprised, you know you saw that coming).
First year of officially turning old - 30 - and experiencing the "that didn't hurt before."
Oh, 2016. You were a roller coaster of emotions.
We walked into it looking forward to celebrating our first year of marriage and thinking about changing jobs and moving.
Instead a few months later we found ourselves putting life on hold.
Feeling unstable. uncertain.
Exhausted. emotionally drained.
When we look back on the past year there are couple of things we both are blown away by:
1. The hub's workplace was INCREDIBLY supportive of him. I
didn't realize this but it is hugely helpful and makes life A LOT
less stressful when your work supports you and helps you in
anyway they can. My workplace was also very supportive. Within
a few weeks of being hired I told them the news and the answer I
got was, "just let us know when you want to come back." I mean,
seriously. That's a big deal.
2. After his diagnosis in April '16, we felt very alone though we
talked/skyped/face-timed with family and friends. Every
month after his diagnosis and sometimes multiple times per
month we had our people stay with us. We didn't know it at the
time but it meant the world to both of us. We know these folks
could have done something else with their time and expenses but
they decided to travel and be with us knowing we wouldn't be
doing much.
We seemed to handle the year of firsts with calmness.
And we know that that calmness comes from our faith.
We both have a heavy past and have experienced the love, faithfulness and provision of our God.
So regardless of what life may bring us we know God is with us. Always walking beside us,
In our lowest.
In our highest.
In our doubting.
And in our certainty.
P.S. I just realized after posting this that what happened to us in 2016 deserves to be in 2016, #twasashittyyear
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